Sunday, November 27, 2016

Life right now = exhausting.

 Sickness has ruled my family for the last two weeks.
Realizing that sometimes putting your kids first IS working more / harder, but still trying to find balance as a work-at-home-mum, while gunning for a promotion.
 Balancing being the "perfect mum" with the "that'll do mum" , but still trying to meet every single on of their needs, While my daughter sports sleepless nights.
Teaching, educating, playing, cooking, cleaning. School, playgroup, playdates, appointments, work, Christmas organising and still have some me time and keeping friendships with my own friends.
Juggling the strain of "trying" to sort out belongings, finances and children and an up-coming divorce, and making our house more homely.
One of those weeks where everything falls apart at once and you just can't please anyone... Which I care about way more than I like to admit.
 I'm just... Exhausted right now.

I know it's only a season and 'this too shall pass', and I wouldn't change a thing (maybe some more sleep, and a cleaning fairy), I love my children MORE than anything in this world, but bring on all the coffee right now! And redbull with breakfast may just be becoming more regular!

-Harley xx

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Jydan, You're FOUR!

Today you are FOUR!

Somehow, in the blink of an eye, the years just flew passed and you're now FOUR!

My most favourite little boy in the world.

I've never met anyone like you.

You're in as much denial as me, and believe you're going to be three for a little while longer (you're not as big as me, you say, so you can't be four yet. I love how your mind works). But know you're getting bigger now and are soon to be one of the big kids off to school.

You have this beautiful, funny, caring, loving, compassionate, curious, excitable and sensitive soul that bursts my heart with love everyday. You love so deeply, you always have... So much passion and excitement for all of your favourite people and things.
You love to make people laugh, oh my, you are sooo funny.

You know so much in your beautiful mind that I'm suprised everyday of what this world has already taught you. I love getting to know so much about you now you're getting older, and I'm so in love with you, I can't tell you how much you mean to me, I can't describe it, but it's beyond anything else I know.

I'm so so very proud of you and the little gentlemen you've become thank you for being YOU.

Right now you love;

  • Paw Petrol
  • Transformers
  • Superman
  • Spiderman
  • Dress ups
  • Drawing
  • Your family, especially your sister.
  • Sharkie
  • Fred
  • Playing Cars
  • Pasta
  • Watermelon
  • The color blue
  • Bushwalking
  • Dinosaurs
  • Craft
  • Water Play.
  • Back scratches.
  • Your friends.
  • School

PS. You look like a spunk ❤.

Friday, September 30, 2016

I decided to befriend my bod.

I decided to befriend my bod.

I laid on the couch with my daughter who was curious about my body, no idea of the pressure to be perfect, just curious of this body thats different to her own.
Giggling at how my skin wrinkles and stretches. I was explaining that Mummys body is pretty darn clever, it made you and then fed you!

I realised in that moment, I had a revaluation. I don't care how my breats were when they were 18 years old, my breast have done more than just peeking out of a low cut top now.
My stomach has carried, created and birthed two beautiful humans by ceasarian.
Stretched skin and all.
I am now proud of the strength my body is giving me, pushing myself to learn things I never thought I would. My 'mum bod' doesn't change a thing, it doesn't slow me down, it doesn't make a difference, so why let it?... And it definitely doesnt change who I am inside.

I am not just this body, I am so much more than what is in the face of everyone else. I am deeper and I am blessed with the skin to be seen. I am blessed that my body has gone from A to Z and back again, my body has had two babies, fed two babies, has had two cesareans, my body has partied, my body has been young, my body has aged, my body has been 40 kilos heavier, my body has danced and swam and ran, my body has been overseas and back again, my body has been on planes and boats... my body is me!
 And I like me!
I have found me!
And I am proud to be me!

Body, what if I obsessed about all the things I liked about you instead?

-Harley xx

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

This is why I won't be sending her to your dietician, doc!

I sit here and write a list of everything my daughter has eaten in the last day while I'm sitting in a society filled with body issues, self confidence issues and eating disorders!
Yet here I am feeding into the idea that everyone needs to be stuck between the lines of what society has built around us. In a box of what people should look like. Even if they're healthy and happy and eat more than anyone else in the household.
I do this while watching over my daughter who is only one years old.

One years old and you want her to see a dietitian.
The first time I refused. I know my daughter eats enough. She eats, and eats... And runs and runs. She's perfect, she's healthy, she's alive, we're both acing her life.
The second time you booked her in to see the dietician I was made to feel that I was a bad parent because again, I didnt see the point. But yet somehow the mother guilt took over and here I am writing a list of what exactly my daughter has eaten in the last 24 hours because you want proof that I feed my child...
 because we live in a society that is too worried about people's shapes and sizes.

Here I am refusing again, because this goes against everything I am striving to teach my daughter.
That every body is beautiful.
That every body is normal.
That every body comes in all different shapes and sizes.
That I won't let my child be sculpted by society's perception of what we all should be.

My child is smaller than 'average', my child is beautiful, my child is perfect... and I will not give in to your screwed up view on that we should be all be in one sized fits all cage.

So fuck you society and fuck you doctors, don't you realize that this is how it begins??

This is where it starts, this is where it begins, this is where we develop the thoughts about how we should or shouldnt be like with our own bodies. This is how we begin to feel that our body is not good enough. This is how we talk ourselves into thinking that society wants our bodies to be so much more than what we were blessed with.

We go on and on about how we need societies views of perfection and beauty to change, especially for teenage girls, but we're still trying to sculpt everyone to fit into a screwed up BMI chart which has been proved to be a complete inaccurate measure of body fat. Go figure!
This is where it starts, when you decide to send my one year to the dietician. When you make me feel like a bad parent for not sending her. And when you want me to write a food diary and watch everything she eats.

She is the way that she was made, she is the way that she was supposed to be, she is the body size nature intended her to be...

So this is why I won't be sending her to your dietician, doc!

And screw your food diary.

Harley xx